It'll Be Okay
by eaaazzzyy-doesit
Summary: Starts at the church scene in 5x18 when Liv tells Jake she is in love with Fitz. Then takes a very different turn. Rated M for possible future chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: This starts at the church scene between Olivia and Jake in 5x18. I believe every word Liv said to Jake was the truth, even though she was pressured to say it by her father. This takes a different turn :P**

"Good luck becoming Vice President, Jake. You'll need it."

Olivia had just finished ripping Jake's heart out. She didn't want to, and if her dad wouldn't have threatened his life, she probably would've run away with him…again. But she cared enough about him to not want him to _die_ so she had to do it. But she wasn't in love with him. No matter what Jake claimed to be true, she did not love him. She never told him that she loved him, or confirmed when he basically begged for her love.

She loves Fitz. Every word she had just said to Jake had been nothing but the truth.

 _Do you honestly not know by now? I'm in love with Fitz. I don't love you, Jake. I love him. When I'm with you, all I think about is him. Fitz is who I choose, he is who I will always choose. You are just a lesser version of him, a sad reminder of the man I truly deserve._

She knew that was awful to say to a man who loves her. But it was the truth, it will always be the truth. Olivia didn't understand how Jake wouldn't realize that she would always want to be with Fitz, after declaring her love for him over and over again.

Still, she felt terrible and she had to get out of there. So she turned around and tried booking it out of the church as fast as she could. She was trying not to cry when Fitz, the last person she needed to see right then, came out of nowhere.

"Liv?... Everything okay?" Of course he knew everything wasn't okay. He could read her face like a book.

"Everything's fine," Liv replied shortly and kept hightailing it out of the church.

Watching her walk away, he felt all the air leave his lungs.

He had heard every single word she said.

He didn't know what to do or what to think. Hearing Liv say those things was everything he's ever wanted. He kept hearing her voice over and over again say, _I'm in love with Fitz._

He felt paralyzed with happiness. He was so caught up in his emotions, his own _joy_ that he didn't hear the footsteps approaching behind him. He turned around and Jake was rapidly walking towards him, steam practically coming out of his ears.

"Hey, man. I didn't know you were behind -"

He was cut off by Jake's fist swinging at his face and landing a blow on his left cheekbone. Fitz touched his face, and when he looked up Jake landed another punch right to his nose. Fitz felt his eyes water and put his hand up to cover his nose. When he pulled it away, it was covered in his blood.

"What the hell," Fitz seethed.

Olivia was about to walk out the doors of the church when she thought she heard Fitz. She had a feeling something was wrong. She felt it in her gut. She felt an inner-battle like no other, but her gut pulled out on top so she turned around and slowly started walking back down the hallway to find Fitz.

At the other end of the hall, Fitz had just shoved Jake exclaiming, "What is your problem?!"

"You get fucking everything!" Jake yelled before he shoved Fitz to the floor. Fitz tried to open his mouth to try to talk some sense into Jake, when he was again cut off when Jake kicked him right in the ribs. Fitz groaned as Jake landed two more blows to his ribs. He let out a strangled moan and noticed there was a trickle of blood leaving his mouth, possibly from the blow to the nose?

Jake continued kicking him, letting out phrases about how he gets everything and how much he hates him. By this point, Fitz had definitely felt a rib or two break and he was starting to cough up blood.

The guys eventually came into Olivia's line of sight and then she booked it back down the hallway. When she reached the fight, she shoved Jake and hissed, "Get off!"

Finally, a look of embarrassment crossed Jake's face and he immediately tried apologizing to Liv, "I don't know what came over me-"

"Don't," Liv was extremely flustered, trying to deal with Jake while at the same time, trying not to look at Fitz writhing in pain on the floor next to her. She quickly instructed Jake, "Get your ass to your wedding, tell them Fitz had an emergency in the situation room, and get out of my sight," she lowly spoke.

When she knew he was going to follow her instructions, she quickly got on the floor next to Fitz and cupped his face. His blue eyes stared pleadingly up into hers with tears involuntarily swarming them, from the excruciating pain in his nose and ribs. After a moment, she felt wetness on her hand and when she looked at it, there was blood from the punch Jake landed to his cheek.

"Olivia -" Fitz tried to speak, but ended up coughing and grimacing. Liv felt her stomach drop when she noticed the blood coming from his mouth when he coughed. Just then, his eyes started to close and Liv knew his body was trying to slip him into an unconscious state.

"It's okay, it's gonna be okay." She tried convincing herself, more than him. She pulled out her phone and quickly texted Abby: _Fitz is hurt. Needs to be private. He needs to get to the hospital, fast. Please help._

After she threw her phone aside and looked back down at him, he appeared to be unconscious. "Hey, wake up," and when his eyes fluttered open her eyes filled with tears and she tried to say with a strong voice, "help is coming. I need you to stay awake."

His perfect face looked so beat up, a gash on his cheek and blood trickling from his mouth and very swollen nose. She could tell he was in inexplicable pain and she knew he was trying to appear strong for her.

"My head…" Fitz groaned out, "it hurts." And Liv immediately recognized that those two powerful blows to his head probably shook up his brain. The same brain that had a bullet shot into it a few years prior. Liv is no medical doctor, but she knew that that was probably not the greatest thing for him.

She quickly maneuvered herself behind his head and cradled it into her lap. At that exact moment she got a text from Abby that read: _Help will be there in 10._ When she finally felt a brief moment of relief, she realized that they were probably causing a huge scene. She looked around, but luckily no one was to be seen… doors were closed and apparently conversation was so lively that no one heard the slight ruckus.

When Liv registered that Fitz had been clutching her thigh and rubbing it slowly with one of his hands, she looked down and was instantly met with his beautiful blue eyes. She lifted one of her hands to his hair and started running her fingers through his waves.

"You really managed to get the shit beat out of yourself," Liv whispered, teasing him.

Fitz started to laugh, followed by a grimace, and then let out in a voice trying to mask the pain, "I could've taken him if I wanted to." And when Liv just smiled and sort of chuckled at him he finished, "I'm serious. I've done it before."

"Alright, big guy." Liv said, still running her fingers through his hair.

She looked at her phone again and only three minutes had passed since Abby said 10 minutes, and when she looked at Fitz again he was starting to lose consciousness for the second time.

She ruffled his hair around and said nervously, "Fitz, wake up." When he didn't move at all, she waited a moment before moving her hands to his shoulders and roughly squeezed when she said a little more desperately, "Wake up!" When he didn't make any movement or sound for a second time she let out hopelessly, "Fitzgerald Grant, wake up right now!"

Still nothing.

She accepted defeat. She couldn't do anything. The only thing keeping her from losing her mind was knowing that he was still breathing. She was making sure of that. Liv started to weep and she grabbed one of his hands in hers and brought it to her mouth.

"Please wake up, please wake up, please wake up," Liv repeated over and over again into the hand she was holding. She was kissing his hand repeatedly when she felt it lightly squeeze her hand that was holding his hostage.

"I'm awake," Fitz barely got out.

Liv let out a strangled sound of relief, "Just one minute. One minute and help should be here." Liv told him.

Fitz swallowed and cracked a smile, "One minute. That's doable."

XXXX

It took Abby ten minutes to contact James Madison hospital and lock down a floor for Fitz. Fitz's secret service was there, and when it was realized there was nothing they could currently do, they let Liv hold Fitz until they could set their plan in motion once they received the go-ahead from Abby. Originally they were going to essentially help him, more-so carry him, out of the church and to the presidential limo. But when it was realized that he could have a possible brain injury, they knew they needed to get him on a stretcher in the ambulance, just to be safe.

Mark, one of Fitz's agents, walked over to where Fitz and Liv were positioned on the floor and hesitantly said, "Sir, we're going to have to get you on a stretcher."

"I'm fine to walk," Fitz told him, not knowing if that was true or not and sounding half alive.

"Sir -"

Fitz interrupted him, "No stretcher."

"Fitz, you could have a brain injury. You need to get on the stretcher," Liv said with no room for negotiation in her tone.

Fitz nodded at her and then Liv nodded at Mark so they could get the plan in motion.

After a very complicated few minutes of making sure no one saw Fitz on a stretcher, they were finally out at the ambulance. They were able to make sure everything was going smoothly because even though Fitz really needed medical attention, his life wasn't in jeopardy at that exact moment.

Olivia pulled her car keys out of her purse and told Fitz, "I'll meet you at the hospital," running her hands through his waves again. She didn't care if any of the agents saw, they knew enough about the two of them to be surprised.

"You're coming with me." Fitz said, sounding a little more scared than he would've liked to.

"I can't."

"Everything is secure, Liv. You can."

"I can't, Fitz." Liv let out with a strange tone in her voice.

Fitz felt her hands start to shake where they were rested on the sides of his face. And that's when he remembered - what she had gone through when she was taken. Being buried under her neighbor's dead body in a body bag in an ambulance.

A knowing look spread over Fitz's face and he moved his hands to grip hers that were resting on the side of his face. He slightly nodded at her to let her know he understands.

"Okay... " Liv started, the two of them nervously squeezing each other's hands. "I'll be there soon." Fitz couldn't miss the trace of panic in her voice.

After a few seconds Fitz whispered up to her, "Kiss me." When she couldn't make out what he said, she lowered her head so their faces were only a good 6 inches apart. "Kiss me," he quietly repeated.

"We can't kiss out here," Liv said with barely any conviction in her voice.

"Please, Livvie. What if I don't make it," He said jokingly.

"You ass, that's not funny."

Mark interrupted, "Sir we're ready to head to James Madison. We need to get going."

Liv quickly lowered her lips to Fitz's, pulled back and looked into his eyes for a few moments and they just felt _it._ That undeniable connection that was just - _them._ Liv pressed another, more desperate, kiss to his lips and then ran off to her car.

Fitz touched his lips and then looked over at Mark with wide eyes. He looked like a 15 year old boy who just kissed a girl for the first time. Mark smirked at him and raised his eyebrows.

"You ready, Romeo?" Mark said jokingly to Fitz as he moved to get him onto the ambulance.

XXXX

 **AN: Alright there it is! Leave a review if you would like me to continue :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Thank you for all the kind reviews. Here's the next chapter. Leave me reviews with what you'd like to see in this story! I don't have anything extremely specific planned :)**

XXXX

Liv raced to the hospital. Her hands still shaking. Her mind racing even faster than her car. This was hitting too close to home for her. Seeing him bleeding, rushing into the hospital, she didn't like the feeling she had in the pit of her stomach.

And then it hit her. _I can't go in there._

Not like how she couldn't get onto the ambulance with Fitz. She actually _can't_ go into that hospital. Her and Fitz are publicly broken up. What would people think to see Fitz's mistress - turned girlfriend - turned ex-girlfriend rushing to his hospital room. And she knows how he behaves, especially with the risk of him being on pain-meds? She knew that he would not be discreet by any meaning of the word.

So the fixer in her won the inner battle. She slowed down her car, made an U-turn, and headed home. She wasn't going to mess things up for his administration for the hundredth time.

XXXX

Fitz had been in his hospital room on a floor that had been shut down to accommodate his stay for 20 minutes. His eyes were glued out the window and on the hallway, just _waiting._ Waiting to see her walk out of the elevator and then come to his bedside.

Mark walked in just as Fitz was about to drive himself insane with worry.

"Hey, Mark? Have you seen Olivia anywhere?" Fitz finally felt partially better, thanks to the IV administering pain medication into his veins.

Poor Mark had to deliver the news to Fitz himself. They all knew how he got when it came to anything Olivia-related. "I'm sorry sir, I haven't."

Fitz tried to plaster a smile on his face, "We've only been here for 20 minutes, maybe there was traffic." Knowing perfectly well that there was no traffic on the way to the hospital.

Mark put a reluctant smile on his face and nodded, "Right."

Just then, Fitz's doctor walked in.

"Hello, Mr. President." When Fitz cracked a smile the doctor continued, "So you have three broken ribs and a pulmonary contusion, which is just a fancy word for bruised lungs. You could have a buildup of fluid as a result which could be dangerous. This is also why you're coughing up blood, and that could continue. So we are going to have to keep an eye on you for a day or two to make sure you're in the clear." Fitz nodded, only half-listening, because his mind was stuck thinking about Liv. The doctor continued, "You also have a very minor concussion, which isn't ideal with the previous trauma to your brain so you will also need to be monitored because of that."

Fitz nodded again, "Alright, could be worse. Thank you."

"Do you have anyone who will be accompanying you while you're here? It's always nice to have some company." The doctor asked.

Mark saw Fitz's face drop and then felt like he had to save the moment, "Well he has me. Even though I'm required to be here," he joked.

"Alright great," The doctor smiled. "I'll come check on you in a bit, Mr. President."

"Please call me Fitz while I'm laying here in your hospital bed," Fitz joked.

"Ok. Be back soon, Fitz," and then the doctor walked out of the room.

Mark looked to Fitz, "I'm going to step out for a moment, sir."

Fitz's eyes were back to staring at the elevator door. He just nodded to acknowledge Mark.

Mark briskly exited the room and pulled out his phone. He found a lowly populated corner of the hallway, dialed, and then held the cell phone to his ear. The person he was calling answered after three rings.

"Olivia Pope."

"Where are you?" Mark curtly asked.

"Home."

"Are you coming here?" Mark and Liv had formed somewhat of a relationship during her brief stay in the White House.

"No."

"Why."

"I can't. The press. Fitz and I aren't together."

"I saw you kiss him," Mark argued.

"Yea well if we could do whatever we wanted just because we kissed… life would be a lot easier." Liv said, her tone holding a hint of sadness.

"Olivia." Mark didn't know what to say.

After a moment Liv asked, "How is he?"

"He'll be okay. But he's waiting for you. Like actually just laying in his bed with his eyes stuck on the hallway. It's depressing."

Liv shook her head as if Mark could see her over the phone.

"I wasn't there for him. I was too busy talking to whoever the hell I was talking to to prevent Fitz from getting hurt. I know there weren't any active threats, but I let my guard down. And now he's laying in a hospital bed. I didn't do my job, but now I'm trying to do my damn job. And the one thing that man needs right now is you," Mark spoke passionately.

When Liv didn't say anything, Mark added, "no one knows we're here. No one will know you're here."

After a minute of silence Liv finally said, "I'll be there in 20."

XXXX

After 15 minutes, Fitz gave up. He accepted the fact that she wasn't coming. So he closed his eyes, partly because the pain medication was making him tired and partly because he was getting upset with no trace of Liv in sight.

He was asleep for two hours and woke up when he heard voices talking in the corner of his room. He opened his eyes to see who was there but they were around the corner where the visitor's area of the room was located.

"- basically his lungs are bruised and bleeding." He heard Mark finish saying to someone.

Fitz stirred and grabbed the remote to raise his bed into a seated position. The two other people in the room walked out and Fitz finally saw who Mark was talking to.

"Hey, sleepy head." Liv said with adoration in her voice.

And immediately Fitz's eyes filled with tears like he was going to cry.

Both Liv and Mark's eyes went wide. Mark felt awkward and Liv didn't understand the response. She walked over to his bed and said, "What's happening?"

"These drugs have got me really emotional," he chuckled, "I'm just relieved to see you. I thought you weren't coming."

"I wasn't going to." Liv said completely honest.

Mark didn't want to be in there for the upcoming conversation so he walked out and stood in front of Fitz's hospital door.

"What. Why?" Fitz sounded sad more than anything else.

"Why do you think?" Liv whispered and then a look of sadness crossed Fitz's face. Liv continued, "We aren't together, Fitz. I can't just do whatever anymore."

"You don't have to remind me," he mumbled to himself more than to her.

Liv gave him a look that screamed 'I don't know what to do' and let out a long breath. "I should get going."

Fitz looked at her with disbelief then lowered his eyes and looked down into his lap. He muttered out a passive, "of course."

"Excuse me?"

"I said of course. I don't know why I got my hopes up and expected anything different." Fitz said, starting to get pissed off.

"I'm just trying to protect you." Liv said evenly.

"Aren't you always?" Fitz spat out.

"Your doctor could be back here at any moment, Fitz. What is he going to think? Everyone knows about us now - we were plastered on every damn news channel for weeks. Be logical"

"Be logical?!" Fitz was angry at this point, "Are you kidding me?! There is nothing logical about us, Olivia."

"This isn't smart. I shouldn't be here." Liv said quietly. Usually when they fought she was powerful and wouldn't back down but right now she sounded tired and defeated.

"You want to be here though." Fitz said, seeing right through her.

Olivia ignored his last comment, "I'll call Mark to check in on you," and then turned to quickly walk out of the room.

Fitz made a last-ditch effort to get her to stay and said, slightly panicking, "I heard what you said!"

"What?" Liv turned and looked at him from across the room.

"I heard you, Liv."

Olivia had a feeling she knew what he was referring to, but wasn't 100% sure. So she kept staring at him, willing him to further explain his outburst.

"I heard everything you said to Jake."

Liv felt more vulnerable than she ever has. She has really only declared her love to Fitz once or twice and she definitely has never said any of _that_ to him. She was always too guarded to actually verbalize _tha_ t to Fitz. They always knew that they loved each other but after the last break up both of them didn't know where they stood.

"You love me, Livvie." Fitz said, his voice filled with emotion. "I heard you say it. You're in love with me."

"It doesn't change anything." Liv seriously told him.

"It changes _everything!"_

She walked to his bedside, pulled up a chair and sat. She took a deep breath and then grabbed the hand that was closest to her in both of her hands. "Fitz… loving you has been the only constant in my life for the past 8 years. And it has never changed anything. You are still the president… and I can't do it. No matter how much I love you. Yes I will choose you over and over again, and I have, but it has never worked. And it's never worked for a reason. Because I can't be that woman. I can't be known for being a president's second wife. Because no matter how many amazing things women do, we are defined by our husbands." She paused a moment and then continued, "If anything… loving you has made everything _worse._ I was taken. And then because of that psychological trauma I just _killed a man._ " She looked at him and shrugged. "Loving you has been the most painful thing I've ever experienced."

Fitz pulled his hand out of hers and turned his eyes away from her face. He felt his heart shattering.

"I didn't realize being in love with me is so awful."

Liv let out a groan, "It's not. It's the best thing in the world. You are everything to me. If we were two different people -"

Fitz didn't want to hear the hypothetical and cut her off, "So what you mean to say is that I'm not enough. You love me. But not enough. Not enough to wait just 6 months until I'm out of office? And then I will literally do _whatever_ as long as I can be with you. Liv… that house and that job that has repeatedly ruined us… They aren't going to be mine anymore."

When he desperately grabbed her hands again she replied, "I love you more than anything."

"Enough to wait 6 months? And I'm not saying those 6 months have to be a specific way either… we can be as together or as not together as you want. I just want _you._ I would wait _years_ if I knew I was going to end up with you. I am literally to the point in my life where nothing matters anymore. I have Teddy and Karen and that's it. I can't exactly move up the career ladder. So now, what I want in my life… what I need in my life is _you, Olivia._ And I will do whatever I need to do for the rest of my life so we can be together." Fitz spoke with so much passion in his voice it brought tears to Liv's eyes. "Do you love me enough to want to try again? Be together… in 6 months."


	3. Chapter 3

"I heard someone has been being difficult," Liv said walking into Fitz's hospital room.

"I'm allowed to be difficult when I was coughing up blood all last night. I slept probably 30 minutes," Fitz whined.

Liv stood at the foot of his bed with her arms crossed and a smirk on her face. She was extremely worried about him but didn't want him to catch on to that fact. "Mark called me and asked, and I quote, 'can you come save me from him?'" Liv said in a jokingly stern voice.

"I had a bad night, and _someone_ won't stay here with me," he pouted at her.

She winked at him and said, "But I brought your favorite waffles. From that place on the corner by my apartment."

"You did not."

Just then Liv raised a bag of waffles that she had been hiding behind her back and smirked at him.

Fitz threw his head back against his pillow and let out a moan, "You are the best, Liv."

It was Fitz's fourth day in the hospital. The contusions on his lungs were worse than they originally thought and he needed to stay an extra day or two and he was starting to get irritable.

She walked over to him, pulled up a chair, and put the makeshift tray in front of Fitz. Then she smiled at him and leaned over the top of him to start setting up their breakfast. About 10 seconds later, Liv heard Fitz let out a pained groan and she looked down and his eyes were glued shut.

She said slightly panicked, "Are you okay?" and he mumbled a grumpy _mmhmm_ in response. Then she asked a follow up question, "What's the issue?"

"You leaning over me. You smell good," Just then Liv started to get the idea of where he was going with this and looked at him with raised eyebrows, "and your shirt is just… you know… pretty low-cut."

She put her hand onto her hip and asked, "Is there a problem, mister?"

"Oh no. Not at all, Livvie." He was talking staring directly at her cleavage.

"Oh my god my eyes are up here," Liv pointed to her eyes.

Fitz slowly dragged his eyes up to her face on purpose and then chuckled when he saw the look of discontent on her face, "Aren't you happy you said yes?"

It had been three days since Fitz asked Liv to wait six more months so they could be together. She said yes, and since then, they had been simply enjoying each other's company… getting back to _them._

And even though he was so annoying, he was so _cute_ she had to lean down and press a kiss to his lips, "I am happy." Then when she drew her head back she saw Fitz lower his eyes to her chest again. "Are you kidding me?" She teased him.

"Liv, you look so good." She was wearing a tight t-shirt and leggings, it was a Saturday morning and she was dressed in her yoga clothes. "Did you just come from yoga?" He asked as he tilted his head to the side so he could get a look at her ass.

"Mmhhmm," she nodded, and arched her back so her chest was pressed closer to his face and her ass stuck out more.

Fitz let out a big breath through his nose and then raised his hand to rub the back of her thigh, "You're so mean. You're killing me here."

She put her hand onto his stomach and started tracing his abs, then she lowered her head so her mouth was next to his ear and whispered, "Are you horny?" and when he gulped and nodded his head she added, " _mmm_ baby."

He captured her bottom lip in between his, then put one of his hands onto Liv's that was tracing his abs and tried pushing it lower.

"Fitz, you know we can't do anything," Liv tried reasoning with him, "Your ribs and lungs aren't healed enough yet. It will hurt."

Fitz was distracted as all of the blood was flowing to his lower half, "What's a little pain, baby?"

"Fitz," Liv said sternly.

And when Fitz looked at her and saw that she was serious, he groaned and closed his eyes, "At least I have waffles."

XXXX

They had finished their breakfast and Liv was sitting in the chair next to Fitz's bed, running her left hand through his waves trying to lull him to sleep.

"Livvie," Fitz whispered out. And when Liv hummed a response he continued, "I'm really happy you're here. I'm so lucky you said yes, sweet baby."

Liv looked at him with an amused look on her face, "Wow those pain meds must be kicking in."

He chuckled, "Yea. But I am really lucky."

She kissed his cheek and smiled looking into his perfect eyes, "The guys at the Pentagon are going to get Jake… lock him away. But be secretive about it and come up with some story… I don't really care, I had my people take care of it."

"Liv… he doesn't need to be locked away. He just hates me because of us."

"He could have killed you," she said somewhat angrily. "He is not a good person."

:"Liv-" Fitz tried to interject.

"No! It's too big of a risk… You could have died. What am I supposed to do if you're…"

Fitz grabbed her and lovingly pulled her face into his neck. He started soothingly rubbing her back, "I'm here, Liv. We're okay."

She sat down on the bed next to him, "We need to talk about how we are going to do this. The next 6 months… and after."

"I want to do whatever works for you, Liv. I screwed up last time, and I'm not doing that again.

"You were just trying to hold on to me, I was slipping away."

He nodded sadly, "We are going to need to talk about...stuff."

She started picking at her nails, "I know… Just not right now."

He nodded, "Like I said, whatever works for you."

"I was thinking we can do the next 6 months like we did when we were together before. You come to my place sometimes, I can come to the Residence sometimes. Low key. Still secretive… at least with the press. You know? Sort of dating?"

He grinned, "I'd love that. Yea… that sounds great. The part we skipped last time"

She smiled at how cute he was being, "Exactly. It's gonna be fun."

He grinned even bigger and nodded very eagerly. "You should spend the night here tonight."

"Fitz," her face grew serious, "I can't."

He let out a breath and rolled his eyes.

"Wow. Very dramatic," Liv teased him.

"I just want you here with me. It's been awhile since I've had you snuggled up with me."

"Well it's not like we can both comfortably sleep on this hospital bed anyway, Fitz. You should be getting discharged tomorrow, and if you're good you can come straight to my apartment spend the night with me," She bribed him with a glint of mischief in her eye.

His eyes grew wide and he nodded.

XXXX

It was the next day and Fitz was discharged, and his agents agreed to let him spend the night at Liv's house. They were happy to see their boss happy again, and had a soft spot for Liv.

When Fitz got there, it was around 4PM and Liv immediately let him into her apartment. He wasn't walking with his usual swagger and looked somewhat miserable. He gave her a peck on the lips and then immediately walked over to the couch. Liv followed him over and then stood in front of him.

"You look terrible," Liv told Fitz.

"Jeez, Livvie, thanks." Fitz pouted.

With a soft voice she told him, "You are walking like you're 100 years old and you look so _sad."_

"I'm fine," he said completely unconvincingly.

Her eyes grew sad, "You're not."

He tried to stand up but winced and had to sit back down. Immediately tears came to Liv's eyes seeing him like this, "This is my fault."

"Liv, no it's not baby," he reached to grab both of her hands.

"I shouldn't have been so stupid and said all of that to Jake. He beat the shit out of you because I'm in love with you." A smirk crossed over his face and his eyes lit up with joy. "What?!," She let out in a strangled voice.

"I love hearing you say that," He said in a voice filled with love, "That you're in love with me."

"Fitz I'm trying to be serious."

"So am I."

"This is important! He could've killed you because of me!" Liv was distraught.

"Livvie, calm down. That is not what's important. _This_ is what is important. You and me. Us loving each other." He leaned in and pressed a sweet kiss to her stomach because that was what was level with his head.

He finally got through to her and she closed her eyes, let out a breath, and nodded her head.

"Okay," She mumbled out.

He smiled, "But there is one more thing that is important. I can't have sex for 3-4 weeks. While my ribs and lungs are," and he air-quoted, "healing."

She giggled, "Listen to your doctor, mister. For real… You should see the way you're walking. You need to heal." He nodded and brought her to sit onto his lap, "I'm going to hurt your ribs."

"Shh let me hold you for a minute." And she did, because she wanted to be held.

She scooted off of his lap and rested her hands on top of his thighs, "We need to talk."

Fitz nodded, "Now?"

"I'm ready."

"Okay," he nodded with nothing but encouragement in his eyes.

"I need to take this at my own pace. Last time… we were so _rushed_ and it ruined me. My PTSD was terrible and I felt trapped. We were in a terrible place. We weren't _us."_

He looked down into his lap, "I felt it. That's why I moved you in… I felt us breaking and I couldn't lose you again. I was so _scared_ to lose you. And then when I did I was numb and was sleeping around trying to feel something. Something that could even closely resemble what I feel when I'm with you."

"Yea that doesn't work. I know," She chuckled. "And you don't have to worry about Jake ever again. I meant everything I said to him in the church. He was a stand in for you. And, trust me, I know how ridiculous that is."

He nodded, "We need to stay away from that White House. It has ruined us so many times, it has ruined just me and just you so many times. You were taken because of that damn house."

"I'm learning how to deal with it... my PTSD. I have flashbacks and get in this really bad place, and I'm not myself," her voice got significantly softer, "That's what happened when I killed Andrew."

"I know, Liv. I saw you right after and you weren't there. Your eyes were lifeless, and then when I _held you_ right after I just felt like I was holding a shell of you. I know you weren't yourself." He wanted her to know that he doesn't think of her as a murderer, that she went through something downright terrible.

"I have something else to tell you. That I haven't told anyone."

He nodded and grabbed her hands, "You can tell me anything."

"You won't want to be with me anymore. You won't forgive me for this." She was scared out of her mind, she knew he wasn't going to be okay.

"I've told you, Liv… I will forgive you for anything. We've learned that."

She nodded and took a deep breath, "That night we fought, and broke up… I missed the dinner because I was at the doctor's." His eyes grew wide and urged her to continue, "I was pregnant.. I-I had an abortion." He pulled his hands out of hers and she thought to herself _This is it._

"Wha-What?" His eyes grew watery.

"I was going to tell you that night. But then we fought, and then it was over. And I thought it was it, that that was it for us. I was… so unhappy. And we weren't us. And that baby, our baby, would've been labeled the President's bastard child. I couldn't do that to him or her. And we were _broken,_ and we both know what it's like to have parents that are broken. We weren't ready. And I thought you were going to hate me."

He looked deep into her eyes, his filled with tears, "I could never hate you. I'm upset that you didn't tell me… that you didn't think I would understand. Liv, it's your body. And you're right that we weren't ready. We were both in bad places. But I'm just sad that you felt like you couldn't tell me. Because that is both of our faults, because we were broken."

When he finished talking she bursted into tears and buried her head into his neck. They were tears of relief and he heard her mumble, _why are you so good to me._

He was rubbing her back, "Because I love you, Livvie. Because you are my everything." And when she nodded and pulled away from his neck with puffy eyes he said, "but I need to ask you something." When she nodded he asked, "Do you not want babies? Or even a baby? You can tell me the truth. I know babies were always a part of the dream… but, Liv… You are my biggest dream. I can live without babies."

She started to tear up again because he is just being so perfect, "I honestly don't know. I may or may not. Just like I may or may not want to get married. Or move to Vermont. I just don't know right now. But I'm not saying no."

He nodded, "As long as we are happy… That's all that matters." He leaned in and pressed the sweetest kiss to her lips.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Thanks for the kind reviews, guys! I'd love to hear any ideas or things you'd like to see in this story! Anyway... Here's chapter 4!**

Chapter 4

After their emotionally draining night, they both got a great night's sleep wrapped up together in Liv's bed. They hadn't shared a bed for over half a year and the comfort they provided each other felt amazing.

Olivia woke up the next morning to an empty bed so she got up in his Navy t-shirt and her boy short underwear to go find him. She went to the bathroom, freshened up a bit, and threw her hair up into a high bun before heading to the kitchen. She immediately found him standing at the stove flipping pancakes in just his boxers and sporting a gorgeous head of messy curls.

"Is that something you should be doing, mister?" She flirtily scolded him.

He turned around a flashed her an _adorable_ smile and ignored her comment then replied, "Good morning, Livvie."

"Good morning. Is that something you should be doing?" She asked again.

"What?" He feigned ignorance, still looking as cute as ever.

"All of _this."_ She said, waving her hands around the kitchen.

"Making pancakes? I think I can manage standing here, Liv," He teased her.

"Are you in pain?"

"No."

"Did you have to take any pain meds?"

"No."

"Are you-"

He cut her off, "No, no, and no. Livvie, I'm fine. I just wanted to have a normal morning. Making you pancakes. Can I do that, please?"

She just nodded and then flashed him a cute little smile, "Am I going to get a good morning kiss?"

He rolled his eyes playfully, "Jeez, so needy." Then he started to walk over to her and bent down to press a kiss to her lips but she put her hand up to his mouth before he could connect their lips.

When he gave her a questioning eyebrow raise she just replied, "Wouldn't want my _needs_ to be a bother to you," She replied extremely sassily.

He chuckled and then tried to lean down to kiss her again and she took two steps backwards. She then walked past him to grab her pancakes and he said, "Liv, you know I was joking."

She just shrugged her shoulders and fixed herself a plate of pancakes. He stood in the kitchen watching her, chuckling because he loved how sassy she could be. She then turned around and walked out and when she passed Fitz, flirtily said, "Thanks for the pancakes."

He followed her out to the spot she took at the dining table and and when she didn't acknowledge him standing there he whined, "Liv, you're being mean."

"Pretty sure you were the one being mean first." She said without raising her eyes to look at him.

"I was just teasing you… like you do to me all the time."

When she just shrugged again he grabbed a chair, sat right next to her and yanked her chair so she was facing him.

He gave her his best flirty voice, "You're going to deny your sickly boyfriend a good morning kiss?"

At that her eyes shot up and looked at his, "Boyfriend?"

He nodded very matter-of-factly with an amused expression. "What else would I be?"

Her eyes had panic swarming them, "I don't know.. But boyfriend is so… _label-y."_

He was trying to not smile at how cute she was being, "And?"

"Aren't we too old for that? You're 54… you really want to be someone's _boyfriend?_ That sounds like we are in the 10th grade," she was rambling on.

"I don't want to be someone's boyfriend… I want to be _your_ boyfriend, Liv."

"Well we didn't even talk about it," She was trying so hard not to freak out, not to push away.

"Well isn't that what we're doing now? Livvie… do you want to be my girlfriend?" He asked sweetly, grabbing both of her hands in his.

She rolled her eyes, "Now we really sound like we are in 10th grade."

"Liv…" He tried to get the answer out of her.

"I guess so… Just low key though, nothing crazy." She was fidgety and nervous and Fitz thought it was the cutest thing he had ever seen.

He replied in a sarcastic tone, "Oh of course not, Liv. Low key." He winked and then leaned in and whispered close to her lips, "Can I make out with my girlfriend now?"

She looked up at him through her eyelashes, bit her bottom lip, and cutely nodded. He moved one of his hands up to cup her cheek and the other one to hold the back of her neck then slowly pressed his lips to hers. He was the first one to deepen the kiss and when he opened his mouth she happily took his tongue into hers. They hadn't shared this passionate of a kiss in months and they were both lost in it. The kiss started to get heated and Fitz moved his hands and started roaming them all over Liv's body.

He moved his mouth to his favorite sweet spot on her neck and when he slipped his hands under the waistband of her underwear she pulled back breathing heavily, "You know we can't do anything, Fitz."

"Just a few more minutes," he mumbled, moving back in to work on her neck.

She pulled back again, "You know we won't stop if we go for a few more minutes."

"And?" He asked, still rubbing her wherever he could reach and pulling her body into his.

She grabbed his hands to stop their movement, "You're not healed enough. It will hurt your ribs."

He threw his head back and let out an annoyed groan, "This is so hard."

She chuckled and looked down at his prominent erection, "Apparently", she teased him. And when he gave her his best puppy-eyes in return she leaned in, lightly rested a hand over his erection, and started breathing hotly over his ear. She felt him shudder out a breath and then whispered into his ear, "We can't have sex… but I can help you with this," and finished by taking his earlobe in between her lips.

He let out a moan that he wished didn't come out so desperate, "Liv," and when she started moving her hand over his erection he said in a strained voice, "No, no…"

."You don't want my mouth on you?" She whispered into his ear again.

" _Shit._ You know I do… but if I see you with your mouth on me, I'm going to want more… so no." He grabbed her hand so she would stop rubbing him.

She pulled back and shrugged, "Your loss." She stood up, pecked his lips and started walking away while saying, "Gotta go get ready for work."

He was so stunned by the last few minutes he couldn't even reply, only let out a long breath and slouched into his chair.

XXXX

Later that day, Liv was at work relaxing because they were having a light day. Right when she thought she couldn't get more bored, her phone rang and she smiled when she read the caller ID.

"Olivia Pope."

"Hello, Miss Pope."

"Hello, how can I help you today."

Fitz chuckled, "Just wanted to hear your voice. Hi"

"Hi," Fitz could practically hear her smile through the phone.

"What are you doing right now?" He asked her.

"We are having a really light day, I'm just reading over some case files. How's your day?"

"I miss you."

"You saw me a solid… five hours ago." She teased him, "You can't possibly miss me."

"I always miss you, Livvie."

Right when Liv started to reply, Quinn walked in and Liv didn't notice her because of the bubble she was in with Fitz. "I miss you too. Do you wanna spend the night again?" Fitz replied something that made Olivia laugh and when she looked up she saw Quinn there. "Oh my gosh, sorry Quinn I didn't see you walk in."

Quinn smiled, "I'll come back. Tell Jake I say hi!"

Liv's eyes grew wide. She heard silence on the other end of the phone and covered the phone before she swore, _shit._ She pulled the phone back up to her ear and when she still didn't hear anything she said apprehensively, "Fitz, you there?"

"Yea!" Liv could tell he was trying to mask the hurt in his voice.

"I'm sorry… Quinn thought I was on the phone with Jake apparently," she awkwardly chuckled. She knew how Fitz gets when he feels there's any type of competition for her.

He took a deep breath, "Apparently."

"I'm-"

He cut her off, "All you said was 'I miss you' and asked me to spend the night… I mean _of course_ she thought you were talking to Jake. Because apparently this type of conversation with him is a normal occurrence." He said short and sarcastically.

"Okay. I know you're upset. My people don't stay updated with my personal life. The last they knew, I was with Jake. It was a simple mistake." She tried explaining.

"I know Liv… I just hate the thought of him sharing a bed with you. I hate the thought of him doing anything with you."

At that moment Marcus ran in and yelled, "Incoming!"

Fitz heard and sighed, "You've gotta go. I'll see you later."

"Okay," And before she could finish saying goodbye, she heard him hang up the phone.

XXXX

Fitz got to her apartment around 9PM and she let him in without paying him much attention. She walked back to the couch and started drinking her wine some more.

"Liv?" Fitz sat down next to her. She seemed like she was composing herself and he was slightly confused.

She took a deep breath, "Jake has never shared a bed with me." When he just raised his eyebrows in confusion she continued, "You said you hate the thought of him sharing a bed with me. Well he has never actually spent the night here. Actually sleeping with someone makes me feel way more vulnerable than actual sex, so yea with him... Just sex and done." Fitz then realized that she was a little tipsy… that was the only way she could be this candid so soon.

"Ok woah I don't need to know about you having sex with him. That makes me literally feel _insane."_ Fitz said seriously.

"I know what you mean." Liv whispered.

"What?"

"Lillian Forrester." Liv glanced at him for a moment. "And then… all of the others."

"You have no reason to be jealous. We were broken up, I thought you were for real done with me. I was trying to get over you. Feel something." Fitz explained.

"Well it seems you perfectly understand my dynamic with Jake then." She was just staring into her wine glass.

Fitz never really thought of it that way, "You're right." He then grabbed her hand and kissed it, "Do you think we have to worry about any of this again? You know I'm here for the long haul."

"You think you could keep it in your pants for once?" She tried to joke but when she saw embarrassment cross his face she knew she prodded at a touchy subject.

"I've never cheated on you, Liv." Fitz tried standing up for himself solemnly.

"Well I mean you can't really cheat on someone when you're married to someone else."

"You know what my situation was with Mellie. You know I didn't step outside the marriage for _years."_

"I know." Liv squeezed his hand.

He looked at her with completely serious eyes, "You changed everything for me. It didn't feel wrong being with you because I knew it was… _so right._ You just walked in my life and for the first time in years I remembered what it was like to be attracted to someone and I was, and still am, insanely attracted to you. And for the first time I felt what it was like to have this _chemistry_ with someone… to fall in love, and be so deeply in love with someone. Liv, you are my everything, I would never dream of doing anything that could even possibly mess this up."

She had tears swarming in her eyes.

"Say something," Fitz whispered.

"I'm so scared. I'm so used to being left… I'm scared that I'm going to let myself get comfortable with you, let myself feel how deeply I love you, and then you'll leave." Tears started to roll down her face and Fitz could tell that she had had this on her mind for a while.

He reasoned, "I don't think it's possible for me to leave you. I've tried, baby… several times." They giggled together and a little bit of the tension dissipated, "Five and a half months, just five and a half months and then we can do whatever we want. White House won't bother us anymore."

She smiled and nodded. He asked her, "Are we okay?"

"We're great."

He smiled and leaned in to press two sweet kisses to her lips then he pulled back and whispered against her mouth, "We are great."


End file.
